You say I'm dirty minded - but how did you understand what I meant? ;)

Why is Angelina on the Jersey Shore? No one likes her.

Nah, nothing's wrong. LOL JK, I wanna hit you in the face with a f**king shovel.

*LOG OUT*.......bored......*SIGN IN*

Dear Microwave, why is my plate so hot, yet my food so cold?

A friend will bail you out of jail a best friend will be right next to you saying "WHY DIDN'T YOU RUN FASTER!

I accidentally typed ;) instead of :) and now it's awkward.

Por los q tienen sueño y no se duermen x estar hablando cn alguien especial

I said to my girlfriend, ''Do you want to see me pull a really ugly face?'' She laughed and said, ''Go on then''. So I grabbed hers.

When I'm bored, nobody texts me, but when I'm busy, my phone blows up

*Sitting on the beach with an icecream in my hand, and..* Mom: Honey, It's time for school! Me: Damn it.

(Riding a bike ) hey mom i can see you *WHACK* Mom: And i saw that branch

In a awkward situation i just pretend to text..

'LOL' has turned into 'I Have Nothing Else To Say But I Still Want To Talk To You' ♥

One day, my girlfriend sent me a txt. "Let's break up." I didn't even have time to be sad, she sent me another txt. "Sorry, wrong person." Now I am completely heartbroken...

Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years!

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea...(change channel) d-d-d-d-dora (change channel) Heeeeey its Fraaaanklin. That's what you get for waking up early!!!!

"1 out of every 3 smokers die." Apparently the other 2 become immortal

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket"

They think the worlds gonna end in 2012, but they can barely predict the weather for tomorrow

Teen: "Mom, I got a speeding ticket last night." Mom: "How fast and where?" Teen: "140 in an 80 zone, but at least I passed the breathalizer."

I've been through 1/1/1, 2/2/2, 3/3/3, 4/4/4, 5/5/5, 6/6/6, 7/7/7, 8/8/8, 9/9/9, and 10/10/10.

Whats Orkut?? :P once upon a time in orkut :D

Make love not war....cond*ms are cheaper than g*ns!

Taking an hour and a half every morning to get ready, yet somehow 2 minutes is all you need when you are late...

''Your homework is to study'' . ''Cool, no homework''

When little kids get mad at you and say ''IM NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE''

‎...............hi everyoneeeeeeeeeeeee

Frenship dsnt needs A powerful eyez, A cute voice,A lovly person...It olwaz needz a beautiful responsibl HEART wid AFFECTON 4EVA....!!!

Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal this

First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.

When guys get jealous, it's actually kinda cute. When girls get jealous, World War III is about to start.

Damn, I still remember the time when my cellphone used to ring along ever few minutes with your calls and miscalls .....And Now the only phone call I get is from my mum....Life is truly strange.....Missing talking to you for long hours into the nite....till one of us fell asleep.....Few Things I will Never Forget About U No Matter How Hard I Try

Feeling like to talk whit someone for HOURSSSSs........... ;'(

Ultimately, the source of happiness and joyfulness is within ourselves.

i hate it when i say something and people take it really really wrong!!!!!

"You look tired" - Thanks for kindly saying I look like crap.

Life is weird: you love the person that hurts you most, you hurt the person that loves you most.

When you came into my life,You made my spirit soar. I can only love you..Until the day I die.I pray you will be there..When it's time to say goodbye. Take my hand and hold me; Help my spirit fly...Let your face be the last..I see before I die...gautii..˙·٠•●♥‌

Twitter Trending on ℒℴѵℯ.. :) :O ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

i love you and i will love you till this world comes to an end... (#_#)‌

ye mind bahut badtmeez hai....sala kuch bhi soch leta hai ...

*go into a restaurant* ''would you like a table?'' no, well just eat on the floor..''

When little kids get mad at you and say ''IM NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE

Having a spaz attack when you dream that you're falling.

Why do I desire what I can't get.......Damn You God....

If God has ever answered a prayer for you, press like!!!!!!!

Chal bye ..... OYE SUN SUN SUN !!!!

LOVE is the expression of simplicity in emotions and unxpected miracle.

A friend is one who knows all about you and still respects you.

MOM, WHERES MY... oh i found it...

Why is life so complicated...

Pardon me, sir gangster, but I believe your trousers are descending.

dont you hate when an amazing song comes on the radio just when you are about to get out of the car? ★

Best friends are so hard to find, because the best one are already mine <3

OMG You Smoke? You're So Cool. LOL Jk, You're Gonna Die :D

''You've changed.'' No, I just stopped living my life to please you.

KYAA YAAR.................. HAD HAI !!!!!!!!!!!!!

TENSION MAT LE....MAIN HOON NA...KAMINE SAB TERI WAJAH SE HUA HAI...

callin up ur frnds at the nyt b4r exms...................& askin .........kitna hau beh...................maine sirf 4 chap kiya hai.............tu baki saara syllabus kar leh..............

A TRUE FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO SEES THE PAIN IN YOUR EYES WHILE EVERYONE ELSE BELIEVES THE FAKE SMILE .

I THINK FACEBOOK NEEDS A ''NOBODY CARES' BUTTON

you are my romeo and i am your juliet <3 <3 <3

''It's a long story'' = ''I don't want to tell you!''

I MISSSSSSSSSSS YOUUUU SOOOOOO MUCCHHHHHHH!!!

Teenagers are either drunk, stoned, texting, having sex, or asleep.

*logs in* *password incorrect* "OMG IM HACKED!!!!" "ohh wait caps lock is on" :)

Boyfriends who actually treat their girlfriends like princesses :)

A song can totally bring back a whole lot of memories.♥

It's pretty amusing when you rewatch a movie you haven't seen since you were little, and you actually get all the jokes now

There are four stages of life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.

"Hey" ... 2 hours later ... "Hey" ... No it's too late i dont wanna talk to you now.

(10:00 pm) ❝Babe I'll call you tomorrow❞ ❝Okay...❞ (12:01am) *phone rings* ❝Hello?❞ ❝It's tomorrow (: ❞

Today is 10/10/10

No I'm not lying, but when you look at me like that, how can I not smile?

just sitting on your bed thinking you have nothing to do but you actually have lots of things to do

"1 out of every 3 smokers die." Apparently the other 2 become immortal

I saw that new advert for Pizza Hut today that said "Now, order with your iPhone." Question... Couldn't you always order with your iPhone, seeing as it is, in fact, a phone?

Definition of a good day: wake up and theres a girl beside you. Definition of a Bad Day: wake up and theres a girl beside you (you cant remember her name)

elementry school: mommy i have a new friend. middle school: hey mom can ____ come over? mom: yeah whos that? you: my new friend. high school: *you and your friend walk in* mom: whos that? my friend...

❒ Taken ❒ Single ✔Doing Me

The moment i learn to live life, life changed

10:10am at 10.10.10: Wish somebody would wake me up before that....I want to see the clock tick 10.10.10.10.10 :)

"I Have A Six Pack" ;) "Where...?" "Under My Fat...It's Shy" :)

teacher : wheres ur homework : child dog ate it :teacher :thats the worst excsuse i have ever heard. the next day child walk into school with a ripped up book:child now do u belive me

~ Don't ya just hate it when you put on your warmest pajamas, your fuzzy socks, and curl up in bed under the blankets just the find that you forgot to turn off the light.

Don't fear tomorrow or regret the past; live for whats now and never look back.

i hate it when im trying to be all sneaky in my house at night then the floor starts to creak...

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket"

elementry school: mommy i have a new friend. middle school: hey mom can ____ come over? mom: yeah whos that? you: my new friend. high school: *you and your friend walk in* mom: whos that? my friend...

*Alarm goes off* "5 more minutes" 6:35 ... 6:40...... 9:00. *Wakes up* AWE CRAP! MOM!!..

i seem to have LOVED you in numberless forms, numberless times, in LIFE after LIFE, in AGE after AGE forever. :)

YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE I TRIED TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE.....

Tomorrow it is 10/10/10 this day will only come once every 1000 years.

*2030* Son: hey dad how did you meet mom? Dad:well..it all started with a friend rqst. on facebook! xP

i like my lunch bag on the couch

Love is the hardest habit to break, and the most difficult to satisfy.

OH MY GOD IM SO FULL I'LL NEVER EAT AGAIN! *two hours later* Im hungry...

Today Is My Birthday, Wish Me A V.Happy Birthday... :p

3 am phone call.."hey are you asleep??" ...."No I'm Skydiving"..

Student-"How do you spell ______" Teacher-"Get the dictionary and look it up." Student-"If I can't spell it how the hell can I find it in the dictionary."

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed.

The best thing in life is to find someone who knows all ur faults but still thinks u r amazing !!!!!!! ♥♥

What do sexy nurses wear for Halloween?

that awkward moment when you sing the wrong words of a song.

just because i met you once doesnt mean that i have to add you on facebook

that awkward moment when you sing the wrong words of a song.

Dear teacher, I talk no matter where I am. Moving my seat will not help.♥

Success is not a secret. It is a choice that is made over and over again.

Writing a long, loving text message.................. 10 minutes later ................. reply:okay [Freakin irritating !]

show me a person who has never made a mistake, and I'll show you a person who has never achieved much..!!

Nobody cares about what you know. It's what you do with what you know that matters.

charging,your,phone,minutes,before,leave,because,think,will,make,difference

Yes, I've made mistakes... life didn't come with instructions.

"Is that a dude or a chick?" "I think it's justin bieber." :p

At 6:I wanna be a princess when i grow up mommy!,At 9:I want to be a singer :),At 11:I want to be a fashion desginer!,At 14:I wanna be a lawyer,At 17:Man i have NO idea

Google + Wikipedia + Copy/Paste = Homework Done! :D

Google is a tool, Facebook is a toy.... :p

My 1st earning... ♥

i suppose we can start counting down now until deathly hallows part 1! i'm so excited to see it!

‎....Get A Life? "Where Can I Download One ?" :-|

My room is not messy; its an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.

If i get a good grade, i don't get rewarded for it. if i get a bad grade its like all hell broke loose.

Dear mom, I am NOT doing anything bad on my computer but PLEASE don't stand behind me while using it.

'1, 2, 3, smile! . . . did you take it yet? . . . oh crap its on video.'

not making eye contact with the teacher so they wont pick on you. :)

You can join the ARMY at 16. But you have to be 18 to buy a shooting game.

"Did you just walk into that wall?" "No, i was trying to get to hogwarts.."

HATES when the page takes too long to load and you click *refresh* and then it loads just then and then it crashes/cycles starts over AARGH!!

I cant pass one day with out my music!

I don't think I could ever be With out My phone or I'll lose my mind. LIKE if you LOVE your phone.

with out my facebook I wouldn't know half of my friends birthdays

How do i feel about gun control? Break into my house one night and find out

Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.

BE CAREFUL to whom you are giving your INNOCENT HEART because when you LOVE, YOU are not only giving that person the RIGHT to love you, but the POWER to HURT you.

BE CAREFUL to whom you are giving your INNOCENT HEART because when you LOVE, YOU are not only giving that person the RIGHT to love you, but the POWER to HURT you.

Words r spellbounding , but eyes r breathtaking , believe me i have seen angel eyes ;)

ohh no...don't look at my pictures, i swear i look better in real life...

Don't let anyone put you down. Gravity does that enough.

Nvr tel ur heart stop loving sum1 especially whn u knw its worth it..coz d more u hold felngs back unconsciously,d DEEPER u FALL...

its october and i forgot to wake up greenday

Boyfriends who actually treat their girlfriends like princesses :)

The more you have expectations, the more you invite dissapointments to hurt you.

boys are so much nicer when they aren't with their friends

I ignore texts. I let the phone ring. I log off of Facebook chat. Its nothing personal, but people need to realize that sometimes I just dont want to talk.

A girl needs a blood transfusion, so her boyfriend gives her his. Months later they break up, and he wants his blood back. So she hands him a tampon and says she'll make monthly payments.

An "EX" is called an "EX" because it's an EXample of who you shouldn't date in the future.

Teacher:"where's your homework?",Student:"I lost it".......20min later ,Student:"I just found it!",Teacher:"No..You just did it".

I like it in the kitchen!

The more you have expectations, the more you invite dissapointments to hurt you.

It was never abt me , it was always about u , i did exactly wat u wanted , i did everything to keep u happy , i talked to u wenever u wanted to , i came to u wenever u asked me to , i never left you all lone , but now that time has gone , all i want from u is love , so that i can love you more then ever , as it was never abt me , it was always about U! ♥ ♥ :') ♥ ♥

Two friends stopped suddenly..... 1st Friend:- Oh My God ! My wife and my girlfriend coming together..... 2nd Friend:- Mine too............!!!!!!!

__̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡__ home sweet home.... (•̮̮̃•̃)

Like if you met an asshole in 2010! :-)

no 1s afraid of heights dey'r afraid of fallin no 1s afraid of swimming dey'r afraid of drownin no 1s afraid of LOVE dey'r afraid of REJECTION....

What is love? Love is the world's most dangerous illness.It makes you cry, feel heart-broken and even feel like dying....:(‌

No matter how old you are. you are NEVER to old to dress up for Halloween! (:

i'm not perfect, i make mistakes, i hurt people, but when i say sorry, i mean it.

i'm not lazy... i'm on energy saving mode ;)

there is always that one person that you can never get out of your head! :D < 3

i hate fighting with the one person i want to talk to most.

''Never say never'' .... you just said it twice :/

I want an honest relationship. No secrets. No lies. And no cheating. :)

The bell will ring in 5-4-3-2-1-1-1-1-1-1 *RINGS* 0! I Told You!

The ONE DAY i'm absent from school is the ONE DAY everything happens!

''why didn't u answer my call?!'' ''Cuz i was dancing to my ringtone!''

How come Mario can smash through bricks... yet he dies when he touches a freaking turtle!!!???

Who doesn't. Nerds need not apply.

Like It! Knowing someone so well, that you know exactly what there gonna say next

I don 't know much about algebra but what i do know is I plus U equals fore♥er......

When i was a kid, i hated going to bed. Now i cherish every hour of sleep.

Baby Do you have a name? Or could I call you mine?

"I'm leavin my house now"... Lol JK im still doin my hair

When tommorow starts widout me, Don't think we are far apart, For everytime you think of me i am right there in your heart. ♥

Trying to resist the urge to write sarcastic comments on peoples statuses

i hate maths

''Oh crap, is that ____? ''Yeah..'' ''TURN AROUND, WALK, WALK WALK.''

Fake smiles can never replace the original happiness! No matter how much u hide , a tear in the corner of the eye tells d true story!

Kon Kehta hai ke larkiya galiyan nahi deti ? Ager Deti han tu kon kon se ? free to write any gali......Just 4 today..:)

My girlfriend told me she was seeing someone else behind my back.I don't know how, I was sitting against the wall.

Lions sleep 19 hrs a day... if hard work is the key to success, then Donkey would have been the king of Jungle..

i like your way of thinking

Don't judge me. If you're reading this, then you aren't working either.

Knowing someone so well, that you know exactly what there gonna say next

Boy: Have I ever told you how special you are to me?? Girl: No. Boy: Good. Girl: Why good?? Boy: Because there are no words that can ever come close to express how special you are to me

when you do something awesome by accident and pretend that it was on purpose

‎*click* *click* -_-.. *Computer Freezes*...*CLICK* *CLICK* *CLICK* *SLAMS MOUSE* WTF!!!!

Dinosaurs were lies, fed to us to cover up the existence of Pokemon.

ALARM...snooze...ALARM....snooze....ALARM *checks time* SHIIIIT!!..

Remember when we were little we would say: do you like him, or do you ''like-like'' him?

Dude, if you tickle me, Im not responsible for your injuries after, okay?

Who gives a shit what anyone thinks, as long as your happy, fuck em all!

When I first met you, I had no idea you would mean this much to me.

Karne ka mann kar raha hai aaj kuch saitani :P

my recent status iz When someone seesyou crying, and ask: ❝Are you sad?❞ Punch them in the face, and ask: ❝Are you okay?❞

I used 2 hate weddings..All the old aunties would poke me and say ''UR NEXT! UR NEXT!''. They soon stopped that when I started doing the same 2 them at funerals!

This month has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 sundays. This only happens every 823 years -october

If someone seriously wants to be part of your life; They will seriously make an effort to be in it. ;)

Making a glue that can even join the pieces of a broken heart!

When I was younger, I always drew the sun in the corner of the paper. (:

''Life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it.''

I wud like to die tommorow, Than to live hundred years without knowing a SWEETHEART like you. ♥

♥ First LOVE is only my last LOVE ♥

First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity

Girls find out evrythng..... I advise u 2 nevr lie 2 thm :)

open BJP's website and you'll be redirected to congress' website...legal notice has been issued!!

Yes, I can take a joke. That just wasnt funny

people first follow me and then they ORDER, yes literally order, me to follow themselves and their friends

Joey: THATS HOW MUCH OUR PHONE BILL COSTS!? Chandler: Thats the phone Number...

''Why are you talking during my lesson?'' ... ''Why are you teaching during my conversation?''

❝ Booty Shorts. Uggs. & A Hoodie. You Weather Confused Whore, WTF Are You Doing!? ❞

Joey: THATS HOW MUCH OUR PHONE BILL COSTS!? Chandler: Thats the phone Number...

Click Like And Then Ctrl W And Your Facbook Page Will Turn Neon Colors

excuse me. excuse me. EXCUSE ME. OMG MOVE!!!!!!

we all have a facebook friend who adds a status just to get attention..!!!!

My bed is suddendly so much more comfortable when I hear my alarm ring at 6 AM

.: 1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 5 continents, 809 islands, 7 seas ... and I had the privilege to meet you

.: Tall guy + Short girl = cute. but Short guy + Tall girl = really awkward.

.: that song you always skip but never delete off your music.

.: We Used To Talk Till 3am...Now Im Lucky To Get A Hello..

.: We Used To Talk Till 3am...Now Im Lucky To Get A Hello..

.: like this if you think 2010 is going fassst.

INDIA!!!!Coooooooooome Ooooooon!!!!!Jai Hind...

.: Trying to say goodbye to someone & 15 minutes later your still talking!

Today India will show the world what Indians are capable of even with shoddy governance...may the Opening Ceremony be a huge success!

Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?

the more you work , the more you gain

.: ''Okay, bye''... ''Wait'' ... ''What?''... ''I love you''. ''I love you too''.

.: Why do all my best ideas come at night when I am trying to sleep?!

.: My kids are my world!!!!!!! If you feel the same press like!!

.: The best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone.

Movie-The Social Network-is getting rave reviews. Now if everyone on facebook were to see the movie once...500million X ticket price!!

did you kno that if u shake your head and say gullible at the same time it sounds like your saying orange... :P :P

''Sorry can we just be friends?'' is like saying ''The dog died but can we keep it?''

.: Teenagers are either drunk, stoned, texting, having s*x, or asleep.

There's 6,697,254,041 people in the world but i want you :) ♥

♥ I LOVE your smile, specially when i'm the reason behind it.. ♥

I wish I could grow weed on farmville and sell it on mafia wars.

☆If someone you know lies to everyone around them and you think they are not lying to you, you are just lying to yourself.

Every year, I realize how stupid I was the year before.

Every Relationship starts as a friendship

A girl calls 911 operator:911,whats your emergency?girl:MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!operator:where do you live?girl:IN THE HOUSE THATS ON FIRE

.: Every house has a .. ''smell''.. to it...except your own :)

Love has no boundations, It doesn't fade coz of lack popularity, Love find its own path, i guess you can say its ''LAWLESs''

Laying in bed, remembering a conversation in your head, and imagining what you should've said instead..

"Don't go I need you in my life..." LOL jk, close the door on your way out :)

❝ ♥ ✈ ☺ ♬ ☑ ♠ ☎ ☻ ♫ ♤ ☤ ♪✩ ✉ ✔ ★♺❦ ☁ ✌ ☂☝✽☥✍✵ ✡ ✏ ☮ ♘ ✾ ☯ ☞ ☜ ❥ ✄ ❂❆♙♔ ♕ ♖ ♗ ♘➳◁╗✦ ✌ ℑ ℘ ℜ ☟ ☢ ☣ µ ® ™ ℃ ℉ © ⌘❇ ❝ツ ❞

.: Yes, I can take a joke. That just wasnt funny.

.: Yes, I can take a joke. That just wasnt funny.

My wife caled me a ''sm*g little cu*t'' yesterday.I just got out of the house and drove away.. in my new mercedes.. 19 inch r*ms

Scientists claim that coffee is more addictive than Heroin.........Bollocks....I'm not addicted to coffee and I drink it all the time.

.: putting earphones in my ears, turning the volume up and completely drowning out the rest of the world.

wat is ''LOVE''???????? in france : is a comedyin..... england : is a tragedy..... in ltaly : is a wonder..... in germany : is a drama.... but.... in India: national game hai sab khelte hai.........

SAYING OWWWW AND THEN REALISING IT DIDNT HURT :)

Pretending not to care but actually wanting to cry :'(

Yes, I do smile stupidly at my phone when you say something cute in a text.

A TRUE FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO SEES THE PAIN IN YOUR EYES WHILE EVERYONE ELSE BELIEVES THE FAKE SMILE .

TENSION MAT LE....MAIN HOON NA...KAMINE SAB TERI WAJAH SE HUA HAI...

callin up ur frnds at the nyt b4r exms...................& askin .........kitna hau beh...................maine sirf 4 chap kiya hai.............tu baki saara syllabus kar leh..............

People who are meant to be together, will always find their way in the end

Before you let go. Remember the reason why you were hanging on.</3

SAYING OWWWW AND THEN REALISING IT DIDNT HURT :)

After the Exam...To Friend: I'm Gonna Fail!!....To Mom:..It was good

Welcome to October. You have roughly 2,678,300 seconds left in the month to do something truly awesome.

CUte LIne VCh mADe 2 ♥ REUNite Bck- ❝wHr SHuld I Go WEn d nly pErsOn In d WORLD WhuZ CApAblE f WipinG My Tears Z MAKNg Me CRY.❞.............

No Matter What I Get On The Computer For, I Always End Up On Facebook

Oh Im sorry, I thought I actually meant something to you... Silly me

Aa gaya Kamina .. aur bhai kya haal hai :P :P

I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...duh! =/

Pearl of life time Do not judge ur close 1 by da way they speak,Judge them by da way they care,coz care iz the outcome of right Love....

Girl: Iss shirt ke kiya price hy?.... Salesman: Sirf 6 kisses..... Girl: Aur uss shirt kee?..... Salesman: 12 kisses..... Girl: Donon dresses pack kr do, bill daddy dain gy.......

Lying down at night thinking about those moments you just wanna re-live